May as well punch Jamie Oliver

Sunday 3 August 2008

(A supermarket in London. The checkout kid is concentrating on an item of produce with furrowed brow and bemused demeanour. Eventually…)

CHECKOUT KID
What’s this?

ME
That’s garlic.

CHECKOUT KID
Oh.

(Without much further struggle he locates the right price code and proceeds. Two tins of tomatoes, one packet of spaghetti and a cheap hunk of parmesan later…)

CHECKOUT KID
(brow furrowed)
What’s this?

ME
That’s also garlic.

FINIS

  1. You could have shoved the garlic up his arse and given him a roasting. (I believe that's one of Jamie Oliver's recipes, in fact.)

  2. An experience which would, alas, be as unpleasant and humiliating for me as it would for the spotty herbert in question.