{"id":857,"date":"2009-03-25T15:07:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-25T15:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/wordpress\/?p=857"},"modified":"2010-01-11T23:43:08","modified_gmt":"2010-01-11T23:43:08","slug":"an-open-letter-to-the-imaginary-kebab-shop-owner-in-my-dream-last-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/2009\/03\/an-open-letter-to-the-imaginary-kebab-shop-owner-in-my-dream-last-night.html","title":{"rendered":"An open letter to the imaginary kebab shop owner in my dream last night"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">Dear imaginary kebab shop owner in my dream last night,<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">I apologise for attempting to order a large lamb doner from you by referring to it by the hitherto unknown slang term, &#8220;cock&#8221;.  I could tell immediately that you were offended and had possibly misunderstood me.  In this alternate reality I truly believed that it was common to call large lamb doner kebabs &#8220;cocks&#8221; but, even if I hadn&#8217;t been misled, my usage of it was overly familiar and gratuitously vulgar.  I am sincerely sorry.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">Thank you for not throwing me out of your shop or spitting in the garlic sauce.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">Yours etc.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear imaginary kebab shop owner in my dream last night, I apologise for attempting to order a large lamb doner from you by referring to it by the hitherto unknown slang term, &#8220;cock&#8221;. I could tell immediately that you were offended and had possibly misunderstood me. In this alternate reality I truly believed that it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/857"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=857"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/857\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3964,"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/857\/revisions\/3964"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=857"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=857"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cookylamoo.com\/boringlikeadrill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=857"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}