1. If someone says ‘Is this OK?’ you say?
“Yesterday When I Was Young” (Buddy Greco)
It’s OK, but it used to be better.
2. What would best describe your personality?
“Tu Es La Soleil De Ma Vie” (Brigitte Bardot and Sacha Distel)
I am the sunshine of your lives, but in a language you might not understand.
3. What do you like in a girl?
“Cybersonic Cantilevers” (Gordon Mumma)
Yeah, well who doesn’t like a nice set of cybersonic cantilevers?
4. How do you feel today?
“Study for Player Piano No.7” (Conlon Nancarrow)
According to Kyle Gann, I am feeling something like a sonata.
5. What is your life’s purpose?
“Magnetizing” (Handsome Boy Modelling School with Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)
All my life, I have stroked myself in one direction to attract ferrous materials.
6. What is your motto?
“Greenfield Morning I Pushed An Empty Baby Carriage All Over The City” (Yoko Ono/Plastic Ono Band)
“Greenfield Oriens Ego Pulsus An Cassus Infantia Gero Totus Super Urbs” looks better on my family coat of arms.
7. What do your friends think of you?
Nicolas Slonimsky at the Berkeley Piano Club, 1971
They think I’m witty, talented, erudite, charming, and older than god.
8. What do you think of your parents?
“Elemental Procedures” (Morton Feldman)
It seems I have a rather Beckettian attitude toward my conception.
9. What do you think about very often?
“Konx-Om-Pax” (Giacinto Scelsi)
I am closer to Richard Gere and Bono than I realised.
10. What is 2+2=
“Post-Prae–Ludium Per Donau” (Luigi Nono)
[tuba solo]
11. What do you think of your best friend?
“Theme from Swan Lake” (Takeshi Terauchi and The Bunnys)
A Japanese surf group covering a classical chestnut. Make of that what you will.
12. What do you think of the person you like?
“Half A Canyon” (Pavement)
American indie slackers pretending to be Stereolab. Make of that what you will.
13. What is your life story?
“Winter (Hostel-Maxi)” (The Fall)
Going somewhere cold, bleak, and British. Yep. I’ll take both of you on! I’ll take both of you on!
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
“Identity” (The Gordons)
Noisy, obscure, and from New Zealand.
15. What do you think when you see the person you like?
“Symphony No.4 (Chiaroscuro), 2nd Movement: Mystical Plosives” (Gloria Coates)
No, I mean it in a good way, don’t you see?
16. What do your parents think of you?
“Computer World (for repeat 1 play)” (Kettle)
We don’t understand, but you seem to know what you’re doing.
17. What will you dance to at your wedding?
“The Projects (PJays)” (Handsome Boy Modelling School with Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and Dave from De La Soul)
Hell, everyone’s gonna dance to this at my wedding!
18. What will they play at your funeral?
“Kissing Jesus in the Dark” (Mystery Labs (John Oswald))
They will want everyone to leave my funeral before it’s over. How very like them.
19. What is your hobby/interest?
“Study for Player Piano No. 25” (Conlon Nancarrow)
Time consuming, obsessive, nerdy music stuff no-one was expected to listen to. A little close to home, this one.
20. What is your biggest secret?
John Cage interviewed by Jonathan Cott, 1963
I am secretly antagonistic toward John Cage, and secretly take Norman Mailer’s gibberish seriously.
21. What do you think of your friends?
“AT&T” (Pavement)
Enjoy them without analysing them.
22. What should you post this as?
“Winter 2” (The Fall)